


Heart

by sunkwans



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: But mostly angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e15 A Problem of Memory, Fluff, Hugs, M/M, Someone Help Magnus Please, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, also angst, i warned you, seriously the man needs a break
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 11:28:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11554257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkwans/pseuds/sunkwans
Summary: Alec shows Magnus that it's okay to hurt.





	Heart

**Author's Note:**

> this is mostly based off of the lyrics of my favorite song (heart by sleeping at last) and every time i hear the song- which is often- i get the itch to do a malec story about it. 
> 
> -i loved how they did the scene in the show, i promise. i cried right along with magnus. but, i do feel like the scene was prematurely cut off. how was magnus feeling about having to see valentine again? was magnus scared? angry? anyways, here's what i think would've been a great addition. 
> 
> enjoy, angels <3

Magnus felt safe in Alec's arms. It was a terrifying feeling to have. For so long, Magnus had hidden this part of himself, not thinking about it, and not telling anyone about it. Only a few knew of what shaped Magnus growing up. And Magnus had started to feel the pain, less and less. Alec muffled the pain, in a way. Alec acted as water on a fire, or a sheet over a window. 

And then Azazel had switched Magnus and Valentine, and it was like Magnus was a child again. He felt the pain of finding his mother, and hearing his stepfather, like a gun shot wound. The pain  _never stopped._ But Magnus had to hold in his pain, to put up a front. Because he was good at wearing a mask. 

Magnus had forgotten how stubborn Alec was. 

Magnus couldn't hide behind a mask anymore. And yes, it felt amazing to get off of his chest. Magnus didn't want to force Alec to bear this weight with him, because Magnus deserved the pain himself. But Alec didn't want that. And Magnus was always really bad at saying no. 

Magnus felt so light, now. Everything was off of his chest. This weight, this pressure, pushing against his sternum, finally removed. Magnus could finally breathe without it hurting. 

But Magnus still wanted to wear his mask. Being vulnerable in front of anyone he'd been in love with had always been hard for Magnus, especially after Camille. Magnus had learned to protect his heart in the years he'd been alive. That was what he did. Hid himself away. 

Ragnor hadn't been the first friend of Magnus' to comment on it. And Ragnor wouldn't be the last. 

For some reason, though, being vulnerable in front of Alec wasn't scary anymore. Maybe it was because Alec had allowed himself to be vulnerable. Alec had told Magnus of his pain- well, some of it- with Jocelyn's death. Alec had come straight to Magnus. Because Magnus was his home. 

"I love you too," Magnus said into Alec's shoulder, remembering what Alec had said earlier. 

_"I love you. And I know something's wrong. Whatever it is, I'm here for you."_

Alec pulled Magnus even tighter to him. Magnus could feel Alec's mouth on his shoulder, a constant, steadying pressure that took Magnus' attention from the pain that he had to relive. 

Magnus felt the burning self-hatred inside of himself fizzle away a little bit.  _"There is nothing ugly about you,"_ Alec had said. It was such a loving thing to say. Such a caring, loving thing to say. So, basically, it was an Alec thing to say. 

Alec pulled away from the hug slowly, his hands sliding across Magnus' back. Magnus felt cold without Alec's warm arms wrapped around him. 

"Magnus, I want you to know that you don't have to do anything about Valentine. We can get Catarina Loss to help us. I'm not putting you in a situation that you don't want to be in."

Alec's eyes looked honey brown in the lights from the loft, but Magnus knew how much his eye color shifted, going from brown to green in minutes. It was always a game Magnus played with himself:  _What color will Alec's eyes be today?_

Magnus remembered when he first met Alec. A beautiful, closeted boy with a crush on his  _parabatai._ Alec had fought so, so hard against Magnus. Until the wedding, when Alec finally gave into himself, and his wants. Magnus had never been a more willing participant. If Alexander wanted to come out by kissing Magnus on the mouth in front of important Clave members, so be it. 

Magnus let out a pitiful sniffle before replying. "I'll be fine as long as you're by my side. And, no one deserves to put that man into Idris more than I do."

Alec bit at his lip. Magnus knew it hurt Alec to hear about the time where he hurt Magnus, where he let Magnus down. But Magnus didn't blame Alec, not really. It was an impossible situation, and Alec did what he did best. Listened to his head instead of his gut. 

"I will. Like I said, Magnus, I love you. I will be here for you, no matter what."

Magnus didn't think he deserved this innocent, sweet boy. Magnus touched Alec's cheek with his finger tips, in watched in awe as a blush spread from his neck up. "I love you too. Thank you."

"For what?" Alec asked, looking deep into Magnus' chocolate brown eyes. 

"For seeing through my mask. I've always told myself to laugh, even through the pain. But in this sort of situation, I couldn't laugh through it. Apparently, I needed the Head of The New York Institute to help me through it."

Alec shrugged. "Anything for the incredibly beautiful High Warlock of Brooklyn."

Magnus felt his heart do a somersault in his chest. He'd been so close to calcifying until Alec stumbled into his life. It was a mystery, the heart. Magnus had lived so, so many years, and he still hadn't learned his heart. Now, his heart was Alec. 

Magnus wiped his cheeks, probably ruining his makeup even more. Magnus didn't mind, though. And it seemed Alec didn't either, because he gazed at Magnus with so much love that he practically had hearts floating over his eyes. Magnus could arrange that, with his magic and such, but decided not to. 

"So, a drink?"

Alec shook his head. "I wanna cuddle. Someone has been leaving me in the middle of the night. But I'm not saying any names."

Alec stood, and grabbed Magnus' hand to pull him from the chair. "You know, why don't you just say my name. Unless, you've been canoodling with someone else? Should I get my magic ready? Will I need to attack some Shadowhunter men?"

Alec grinned. "You already did attack him. The name's Raj. You practically threw him across the room like he weighed six ounces, right after almost choking him out with your weird fire stuff because he tried to kick you out."

Magnus flamed at the memory. Who was this random ass Shadowhunter to tell him to leave? "He got what he deserved. But I knew I shouldn't have told you that."

Alec tssked, before pulling Magnus onto the bed, and hugging him tight. They were both fully dressed, but now wasn't the time for undressing. 

"It was the Sangria talking," Alec said. 

Magnus laughed. And for the first time in a few weeks, it didn't hurt to do. 

"You are right, my Alexander. It's always the Sangria talking."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> as always, kudos & comments are welcome <3
> 
> -i'm on twitter @salyersbaby, come flip over matt's lives with me. i do it often.
> 
> all the love, angels <3


End file.
